Cough


The cough is getting to me. Fk. Lasted for so long and not going away at all.


Didnt call baby yesterday night. Was testing him. Seems like he didnt bother at all. I mean it has been a routine always. Don't he find it weird at all? Is it time? A signal? If you are reading this, please reflect. Don't deceive yourself anymore.


Dreamt about that hh last night. Didnt expected it. It was such a surreal dream.


His grandpa had passed away. He was holding his ashes in his hands, devastated. In that dream, i was quite close to his grandpa. Hh said to me,"I know he wanted you to be with him as well. But don't call my name in front of him. Just call yours."


I was like... WAD?!?! I meant that little to you till i'm unfit to call your name in front of your grandpa? I was so hurt. Cried and run off. He was taken back at my crying. Was not what he expected. He chased after me, poured me some of his grandpa's ashes,"Think that he would want it to be like this."


This is so damn contradicting. Saying those words and pouring me his grandpa's ashes. One showing the little importance of me, while the other showing hw much i stand in his heart that i'm able to even have some of his grandpa's ashes.


p.s. I chose to believe you are happy together with her. For real.

Labels: ..., fk, gd or bad?

♥ ♥ ♥that girl called jan♥ ♥ ♥ 9:18 AM